Daily Love - when I can't give it;)

I must apologize as I have been MIA for a few weeks now. Free time has not been generous to me and finding the time to write has been quite the challenge. However, I have a few moments every now and then to do a little wandering, a little digging and a little prying.

Today I came across this interesting blog. Yes, no doubt there are a million and one 'interesting' blogs out there (mine hopefully included;) but everything is about timing right? The Daily Love only needed a few good one liners and quickly sold me. I even signed up for The Daily Love letter - a daily dose of love I am guessing (and hoping:)??

Anyway, while I am trying to find time to properly finish a post I started over a week ago, check this out: http://thedailylove.com/

 I strive to enlighten and inspire others, but so often it is I that is in need of the inspiration and enlightenment. This site has definitely filled that need.

Happy Mother's Day

Yesterday marked the 5th Mother’s Day that I have no flowers or chocolates to buy, or any homemade card to make.  I am not quite sure what to do with this day. This holiday has lost all meaning to me. Because of all its significance, Mother’s Day is that great big reminder of all I have lost.  I honestly wish I could just wipe this day right off the calendar.

In all the 27 years that I celebrated Mother’s Day (minus the first 3 years as I was probably oblivious to even Christmas, let alone Mother’s Day;) I never once remember this day to be forced or unnatural. Never did I not want to see my Mother, hug her and tell her how much I love her. Never was I unaware of how lucky I was to have my Mother as my Mom. Possibly at age 14 but I even doubt that;)  I knew I had the best mom!

As far as I can remember, my Mom was always super involved in everything my brother & I did. We were fortunate to have her stay at home to fully devote her time to taking care of us. Everyday she made us breakfast, packed us yummy lunches, after school snacks and scrumptious dinners. EVERY DAY! Mom was the ‘Hot Dog Lady’ at school as well as the one to make all the costumes for the school plays and variety shows. And all my years in majorettes, Mom made all the costumes for our competitions. When I say all, I mean ALL the kids that were involved which was a lot!

Known to all of our friends as ‘Mama C’, as teenagers Jay & I adopted the reputation of having the ‘cool mom’. She listened to U2, AC/DC, Tragically Hip and Janis Joplin and knew all the words.  Mom wore tighter jeans then I wore and looked better in them as well! And if there was ever a party, busting moves on the dance floor would be where you would find her while everyone else tried to keep up! I most definitely had ‘the cool mom’.

As an adult, Mom and my relationship transitioned into this remarkable friendship. Always looking up to her as my role model and forever holding her on this pedestal, I grew to also see her as my best friend. We talked about everything, laughed all the time and supported each other through thick and thin. And no matter where we were, or who we were with, if a good song came on the radio, you can bet we would dance!

So it is no wonder I get a little bitter on Mother’s Day. And now being in Toronto, I am too far to visit her at the cemetery she is in. My brother goes on both our behalf’s. And these past few years I have felt torn as Steve wants to continue to celebrate this day. He too lost his Mother, which makes this day all the more difficult. However, Steve’s family wants to continue to celebrate this day, to remember how lucky we are. Some people are surprised about this statement. Being mom-less hardly seems lucky. I too struggle with this scenario. But with much perseverance, through Steve and my healing, I do realize how lucky I am.  I realize how there are many out there who never get to experience, even for one day, the bond between a mother and child. There is nothing stronger in existence and no words could ever explain it.

So, yes, I only had 27 years with my mom.  But I had 27 amazing years with the most selfless mom. The ‘cool mom’. The BEST mom!

I am very lucky.

Detox = OVER!

27 days of 100% pure goodness to my body. Never have I felt so great!

To re-cap, my first week was a breeze. Motivation was high and food ideas flowed freely and effortlessly. I did not see too many changes however, my energy was strong and consistent and my sugar cravings had diminished quite a lot by the end of the week. There was much excitement around my food and everything I put in my body. I was also very excited about the meditations and practiced every night.

Week two, I also found to go quite smoothly but was bamboozled about why my cravings for sweets returned. Then realizing I had started my period explained that one. I am one of those fortunate women that does not suffer badly from PMS. I get a few cramps on my first day for a few hours but it then passes and the rest of my menses I have no discomfort at all. I do however, get strong cravings for sweets, especially chocolate on the days leading up to my period. Even while detoxing, I experienced these cravings but not nearly as strong as usual and literally had no cramps at all. It was lovely! During this week I started to feel a bit of bloating and gas as I believe my 'yeasty beasties' were dying off with the lack of bad stuff for them to feed on. Still nothing too uncomfortable though. I noticed my skin was looking clearer and I shed a few pounds on the scale. I still meditated religiously, however always seemed to wait until too late and run out of time.

Week three was the highlight of my detox. This was the week I fasted and by far, felt my best.
 I did it right this time. Although I worked throughout my fast, I refrained from going to the gym and riding my bike, trying to conserve my energy. I also found it way easier for coping with my hunger, which surprisingly was not an issue. I shed a few more pounds and must admit, I loved my absolutely flat stomach;) However, I have not felt the same since coming out of my fast. The two episodes with a food sensitivity and/or over eating caused me a great deal of discomfort and all though I continued with the enemas, my bowels have not fully recovered. I had the worse gas and only now is the constipation easing a bit. For 1 1/2 days following the fast I went very gradually with portions and textures slowly building to solid food. I thought that was enough time but apparently not. The timing of Easter didn't help either. I will try to figure out better methods of easing out of a fast before my next detox. My goal is to make this transition go much smoother. Again, I did not give my self much time to meditate in the evenings waiting until too late and therefore cutting my meditations short.

Week four was the worse week of my cleanse as I was not feeling the greatest and my motivation had slipped. I also felt upset that the amazingness I experienced following/during the fast disappeared so quickly and did not linger longer. I returned to the gym after an entire week off and definitely struggled at first to regain my strength and energy. This week was not all bad though as I still had good energy levels and my skin still looked great. Although I had put back the weight from the fast, I am still 3-4 lbs lighter than 27 days ago.

Although yesterday was officially my last day of the detox, I kinda began the celebration a little prematurely, and then went over board. Last night was a complete mess which I do not want to go into detail about, however I will say again ' do as I say not as I do";) Do not run out and erase all the hard work you just did for the pass month. Take your time and let your body adjust to the foods as you reintroduce - if you reintroduce certain foods at all. Keeping sugar, coffee and processed foods out of your diet permanently should definitely be one of those great habits you picked up during the cleanse and continue to apply everyday.

I want to thank everyone who joined me on this journey to better health. I absolutely loved hearing people get excited about the great foods they were eating and the positive changes they were feeling. I hope my stories were helpful and inspiring as all of your stories were for me. Most of all though, I hope you hold on to this feeling of pride and self-accomplishment. What you did is not easy and certainly challenging. Thank your self for acknowledging why and who you were doing it for. Thank yourself for acknowledging the importance of your health and how without it, you have nothing. Thank yourself for taking the time to give yourself the love you deserve. Really, this is the ultimate gift one can ever give oneself.

  Now sit back and let your body thank you for all your hard work!