Sisterly Love

This week my love goes out to my little sister Samantha. At just 23 years old, Samantha has experienced far more darkness and has encountered more adversity than most people ever have to face their whole life. Sam has so much to be proud of and that is why my ‘love’ goes out to her this week. Because I don’t think I tell her enough.

Sam’s mom and my dad got together when I was 13, Sam was only 5. Sam’s mother had just gone through a difficult divorce with Sam’s father who was struggling with a cocaine addiction. Sam’s mother (the greatest step-mom ever!!) did everything she could to protect her and keep her from this unhealthy environment. However, Sam’s father had been a wrecking ball for her emotions for as long as she could remember. He came in and out of her life like a ping pong ball, heightening her hopes with promises about how he has changed only to leave her broken hearted with disappointment. Disappointment from the belief that he will never change.

That is why Sam felt so fortunate when Bobby (my dad) came into her life. Finally, a proper father figure who was sticking around. Bobby helped raise her and thought of her like a daughter of his own. 

Unfortunately for Samantha, stability and consistency in her life is about as present and reliable as her real father. Sam was only 15 when she lost Bobby. She was the one to call 911 and watched him take his last breath. An event extremely traumatic for anyone, never mind a 15 year old. It seemed as though her black cloud had returned.

The roads ahead for Sam, as dark and dreary as they were, were also somewhat predictable and almost expected. Sam turned to drinking and drugs. As many teenagers do at this age, for Sam this was beyond experimentation. The drugs got heavier and more frequent. With each high, Sam wished for a brighter, happier place than the one her sober self had to live in every day. I am not sure if it was the actual high or the familiar feeling of disappointment when the drugs wore off that Sam desired more. Either way, it was a heavy load and Sam was starting to sink.

With her mother’s unconditional love as well as the love and support from her grandparents, Sam slowly broke free from the drugs tight grasp. As she overcame one drug, she slowly learned to let go of another and another. Sam was soon drug free but alcohol remained a big part of her life. Maybe it was a series of events, or a sudden epiphany. It doesn’t matter really. What mattered is Sam finally stood back and took a look at her life and the road that lay ahead. There were two paths: one that carried on into darkness and one that lead to the sun. Sam made a choice.

Sam is now celebrating over one month sober. She has gone back to school studying to be an Esthetician. With admirable strength and optimism, Samantha has turned her life around completely. Sam has also gained a new father figure in her life. Her mother has met an amazing man who has become an intricate part of Sam’s life. And, surprisingly enough, Sam’s father has also turned his life around and is celebrating over 5 months sober. They have reunited and are working at mending their relationship. Through the love that surrounds her, Sam is letting go of the anger that she carried for so long. Everyday is a struggle but Sam is trying hard to see the beauty in this crazy world.

Sam & I visiting Dad

As Sam lives in Ottawa, 4 hours from me, our visits are few and far between. No matter the distance though, my awe and appreciation for this amazing girl is hopefully resonating across the miles. I hope Sam knows how proud I am of her and what an inspiration she has been. And if she doesn’t, I hope this helps.